sketch of bedroom lamp

reading music

your horoscope says, look forward to the 12th. synchronicity is at large, and special things are in motion for you. and suddenly your outlook is tainted. oh god, it could be any minute now. a phonecall, an email, in the restaurant where you wait 30 minutes solo, manahattan for assurance, in a crowded kitchen on the west side, in your 12 block sprint for the last bus after watching a pair of uniforms check the ids of a couplea kids. it doesn’t happen, horoscope. and now you’ve scrutinized the whole day. what if i had left earlier? shown up later? written longer. drawn more slowly. hey- didn’t i see you at the party last night?

champagne sorbet, and a hole in your jeans. you bumped into a lot of people this weekend. in all the spots. lose a roommate, procrastinate, drink water. you bought your brother reese’s peanut butter cups for his 33rd birthday.

another job offer, and despite your interest, suddenly you just can’t accept anymore. decisions being made for you. follow through follow through. you have to try it all. how else will you be a good generalist?

the lamp is a salmon-pink. it sits as such, beside my bed. in front of a photo of my dad and i, fishing in pedder bay. from my cheeks, and his sunglasses, it looks like 1991. pencils for drawing, coffee for ritual, and the postcard of Vancouver we traded for a cookie late in the evening on west cordova in november. there are things i left out intentionally. the computer, and its external monitor. the wires. the bowl with the spoon in it. a stack of papers… and now i notice that the window is crooked-ish.

a stuffed alligator, 3 books, 2 photographs longsince misplaced. one of my middle names. wish i knew. you did too, at one point. mystery. of love, of lineage, of relations. the curiosity is far from fleeting.

don’t be shy. careful treading, public eye. scenes, and sensibility.

in a conversation completely unrelated, he subconciously quoted a button i’ve worn frequently as of late, and described me as ‘cheerful and attentive’.

happy one year anniversary to the 5 ring circus


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